Thursday 24 April 2008

Missed

‘We’ll be different…
you and me…’
PJ Harvey

You stand in the doorway
Sunset behind you like a halo
So it took more courage to return?
You tell me it’s easier to leave
But never left my mind

Years crawled by, I remember
Your birthday, that damp day in April
Staring at the empty platform
Plan or impulse?
You had no ticket
My sad journey home alone

So tell me of your new life
You’re back in Yorkshire, I imagine
Heptonstall; or maybe Haworth
Places made real by your books and words
Your dreams and your stories

My closest friend, now not like you at all
Your country conversation uncomfortable
Are you happier now, back where you were?
When I smiled at you because I liked your hair?
You’re thinner now, a little like a ghost
I never expected, but I always hoped
But for all this time I’ve kept on dreaming
Without you this house seems to have no meaning

In the kitchen we once shared
I bring your bittersweet memories
To my nostalgic box of love
Saving trinkets to make you smile
For the past five long years

Slim fingers never held a pen for me
Licking lips like the envelope that never came
Your shaking hands now in your tousled hair
Or crumple the hem of your Victorian shirt
Your jeans are shabby and faded blue
Twisting awkwardly in cheap ballet shoes
You lay purple tulips in the crook of a tree
But during all that time, did you think about me?

A car door slams, you gasp
Becoming a frightened animal
I still don’t know what to say to you

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